Depression, we all feel it at some point in time in our lives sometimes worse than others. A lot of moms/dads deal with depression everyday and not only is it unhealthy for them but for their kids as well. A lot of times us as parents become so busy and wrapped up into our own mess that we do not realize that our children are suffering. Kids not only look up too you and think you are the coolest ( until teenage years hits). For example, this girl I know suffers from depression, severely but refuses to take medication for it. She only has one child but she seems to think that it’s the hardest work ever. I have three and definitely think that one child is easier but hey, who I am right? Anyways her destructive ways and depression have pretty much taken over her life. She is still very young and I do not think she grasps the concept of what it takes to be a mom. Unfortunately it has led to her child being left in mine and my families care, and it is defiantly work he is a very stubborn child. Of course he has been through a lot in the past year and we are working on it. My point being is he watched everything she has done and listened to everything she said good, and bad. Now he has a tendency to repeat some of the things she would say which is not cool at all.
Depression affects some, that do have depression in different ways. It can make some people really sad, some very angry, and other really rebellious. We have to be very careful what we say in front of children because you could be creating a circle of depression. The little boy we take care has said somethings that you know could only have been heard from an adult. Children just don’t come out and say they want to die, unless they learned it from someone in the first place. Of course we are now getting him help but it still doesn’t change the fact that for the rest of his life he will always remember her saying that. So we were looking into Group-based care for him he is four years old and needs other child interaction. What Group-based care is for those of you who don’t know about it is child care that exposes children of depressed parents to a range of positive social interactions. Instead of a regular day care this care actually helps focus on the child knowing that they come from a home with depressed parents. According to a study from ages 5 months to 5 years, those who had a mother/father with elevated symptoms of depression and who attended group-based child care were far less likely to develop emotional problems. Compared with those kids who remained at home. So that is what we have planned for the child among other things to help him psychologically.
He is a good kid we just want to maintain a positive environment for him while he grows. As most of us know children who grow up with parents that suffer from depression suffer more than people think. Depression changes the relationship between a parent and his/her children, since they no longer communicate with each other as they used to. Family time and activities drastically decrease. The depressed parent withdraws from the family, and the children feel that they have been left behind themselves. The toughest part is, a feeling of responsibility that children take on. Some go as far as to make sure that the depressed parent doesn’t commit suicide. Which with the child we take care of, this has had a total opposite effect. Instead of taking on responsibility of the parent, he in turn does not want anything to do with the parent. Due to strong anger built up inside from feelings of guilt and neglect. Most of these kids take on a heavy responsibility by worrying and keeping an eye on the depressed parent.
The child that is in our care worries but is now not interested in whether or not he see’s his mother which is upsetting for us. We want them to keep a strong connection but by the destructive behavior that has went on the past, she has made him turn away. Like I said earlier on it is a slow process that we are taking with him to make him feel secure. Trust is a hard thing to earn from a child who has been through more than most adults encounter, but we are willing to go the distance to help him in every way possible. I believe we will succeed and end the cycle so that a new life can begin. Thank you friends for reading. Please if you, or anyone you know suffers from depression and is not getting help, please do something and step up. Try to get help for yourself and or help the person who suffers even if there are no children involved. Depression is serious, and is not to be taken likely. This disease claims the lives of thousands of people each day.
Love,Compassion and understanding my three words for the day.
The sleepless mommie