How Do I Love Thee, Let Me Count The Ways

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To love a woman/ or a man you must first love yourself. Although we are all different we are the same in many other aspects. If you are in love with a woman/ or a man and you are trying to figure out if the person actually really honestly loves you. If you have to question yourself if he/ or she actually cares about you then get out while you still can. The reason for why I say this is because it’s quite obvious that he/ or she does not love you. Do not waste the years of your life trying to please a person that really does not care about you. I say this and can confirm this because I have done this to men in my own past. I like to call it the lonely syndrome,
getting with someone just because you don’t want to be alone. It’s sad really that people can be so immature but they can and they do. Me personally I am glad I grow out of that kiddie stuff years ago. For other woman/ or men it’s a game, a dangerous game of emotions and it’s not all woman/ or men that do this, just a special select group of immature people.  Now immature ladies that are still living the single life are well-known to just get with a man just to have a man. This leads to the leech issue, the leech issue is when a man who is unsure of himself gets with a lonely syndrome woman and tries to force her to love him. This force can come in many different ways, one: he becomes a nag/harassed, which he ends up having no trust in what she does. Two: Becomes a stalker,
tries to act like he doesn’t care that you go out for a drink with your girls, but spies on your every move. Three: Becomes an abuser, beats on the woman because she refuses to do as he asks. Now for the men can’t leave you guys out women do you wrong as well.
One: A immature woman becomes a stalker knowing you are out with yours boys doing man stuff, but still can’t trust the fact and sends out a spy. Two: The best friend test: A woman/or girl asks her best friend to test her boyfriend to see if he is a cheater (very stupid indeed). Three: The verbal Abuser, a woman who is tired of being in the relationship but stays anyways and ends up always yelling/nagging, name calling, and degrading the man. All of these things can be done by either sex this is just what I have observed from couples over the years.

To be in love means to me, here is a verse I’d like to share straight from the good book. Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth;bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things Love never fails; but if there are gifts of prophecy, they will be done away; if there are tongues, they will cease; if there is knowledge, it will be done away. I never really understood what that meant years ago but as I have grown into a woman I have learned to set aside my self, arrogant ways. We are always growing always changing, it’s just some people refuse to change for fear has taking over them. As in the examples I gave earlier about different things men and woman do, in order to grow and be able to love a person you to let go of the selfish and egotistical stuff that us as humans learned over the years. Love yourself, get to know yourself better before trying to jump into a relationship. Ask yourself who am I really? why i am I really in this relationship? Can you honestly say that you are happy. If you do any of the things I listed above just call it quits, because your only fooling yourself if you think the relationship will last. Unfortunately I kept getting into relationships over and over again looking for love. When the whole time all I had to do was love myself. How ironic that I was so desperate to have love, I did not realize I had already had it with in myself. I have been in all types of relationships and have seen all types of different crazy stuff that people will do to try to keep a person. I have been the victim of abuse, cheating, stalking, rape. All situations that I could have avoided if only I had left if only I hadn’t been too desperate to stay with a person, one of the things I used to say to myself to make myself feel better.
We all love to play the victim, don’t we? As soon as something goes wrong or the way we don’t want it to go, do we not cry wolf. I have witness many married women and men do this. Knowing that they are married and took a vow before god, they still have the nerve to cheat. All because they are selfish and can’t let go of that ego.

Some are even still trying to fool themselves that they are single. This type of behaviour should not be going on. There is such a thing as morals, honesty in a marriage. Spouses can not fix what they don’t know. When communication has ended in a marriage, the marriage begins to fizzle. A marriage needs constant nurturing from both partners. None of these people want to take any bit of responsibility for their ruined marriages. Once they commit an immoral act against their partner but now all of a sudden they feel guilty but since they cannot confess the damage, so they decide to blame it on the other spouse. They continue to play games and go on sites not to get some advice but to seek enthusiasm for cheating. Before A man and woman even decided to get married they first should know themselves and what they are expecting from the relationship. Reason being for why I never married, because all the men I got with were just there because I didn’t want to be alone. On to the dark side of this topic, abuse. Abuse comes in many forms some of the things I listed earlier are forms of abuse. Here are some more signs that you are in an abusive relationship and if you are please do step to get out of it or get some serious counseling. Using economic power to control you, Threatening to leave, Making you afraid by using looks, gestures or actions,Smashing things, Controlling you through minimizing, denying and blaming, Making light of the abuse and not taking your concerns about it seriously,Continually criticizing you, calling you names, shouting at you,Emotionally degrading you in private, but acting charming in public, Humiliating you in private or public, Withholding approval, appreciation or affection as punishment. Yes these are forms of abuse and you nor anyone should sub come themselves to any of it. So please love yourself get to know who you are before starting a relationship. Don’t get caught up into a situation that you will regret for the rest of you life. If your  married and these things relate to your relationship please get some serious counseling for you and your spouse get help. Domestic abuse is wrong no matter what form of abuse it maybe. If you know someone who if being abused please try to help them get help and away from the situation. Till next time friends thanks for reading.
sincerely,

The sleepless Mommie

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