Sex! Doing The Nasty

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I think we all can agree that at some point in time if you are a parent,  children can drive you insane. Especially when you have a million and one things to do in a days time. Juggling back and forth between work and kids can be extremely stressful to say the least. It always seems like when you are in the middle of doing something important they just happen to bust in on you and this can be very embarrassing. Yes folks I am talking about sex…. what happens after your kid walks in on you and your partner doing the nasty( as my kids call it).  Most parents are not even ready for the sex talk yet and even if they were old enough how in the world do you explain what just happened. Just as embarrassing as it is for your kid to see your butt/ or legs half up in the air, it’s just as embarrassing for them. Up until this point your kids have always imagined a big white stork coming to the door to drop of babies, they have no clue as to how they even came into existence. First thing is not to freak out because this can signal to the child that what you are doing is wrong and we don’t want to send those types of messages. Sex is a perfectly natural thing shared by someone special and just face it sooner or later they will be doing it too. A touchy subject for a parent because no parent really wants to accept the fact that their child could be capable of having sex.

When your kids are young like between the ages of one and seven its easy to just play it off. Oh, I caught mommy and daddy wrestling in the bed, the usual response a child would give at that age. If your child is older than eight years old chances are they have heard about sex from another kid. This day and age sex is more wide open than it used to be twenty years ago. Television is a great way to thank for your child being exposed to sex. Between suggestive commercials and music teaching your little girl how to drop it like it’s hot. It’s inevitable and they know more than you think they do. There are million of different books to read on it, articles, videos to watch. Honestly those things could get you started but those different types of information can not really prepare you for “your” child. That’s right! your kid is different, not every kid is the same so therefore not every kid thinks alike. So those materials can be building blocks to start the sex conversation. It’s still up to you to put your own spin on it because you know your kid better than any book/video/article can tell you. Just think back to when you were a child, when was the first time you came across the sex word. Where were you? who were you with? What was happening at the time? Just think about that and already know that your child, more than likely needs your advice. Most of us when we were younger never had the sex talk with our parents, and if we did it did not last long, and it did not make a bit of sense. Nothing like getting bad information to make you want to go out there in the world and try it out for yourself. A lot of parents don’t seem to understand that the best thing you could ever do for your child is give them the correct information.

 

Never ever leave your child with something to wonder, always be honest and never make up stories. The worse thing you could do as a parent is ignore or push aside the issue especially if your child is curious about sex and has questions please answer them and do it truthfully. Lying/Ignoring will only cause your child to go out and get pregnant at the age of twelve. People are always wondering why young girls go out and have sex at the age of ten, it’s because their parents never explained to them the facts about sex the truth the knit and gritty truth of it all. A truth that us, as parents are just going to have to face up too. Leaving a child to wonder about things can turn into a disastrous situation for you both. A situation you can avoided just by being there for them.

 

I have been walked in on doing the nasty once and that’s all it took for there to be awkwardness between me and my oldest son. I am sure no boy wants to in vision their parents having sex together, let alone their mom/ or dad having sex with a man/ or woman other than their father/or mother. Lets face it not all of us are married and we do have relations with others if we are single. It can be awkward but if you just talk with them not right away but wait a day or two let things die down and sit down and ask, what do you know about the word sex. Listen to what they have to say. Ask if they have any questions, ask what have they always wanted to know about it. Chances are you can turn awkward situation into a positive one. Kids are full of questions some are more open to asking than others. Sometimes you just have to let them know you are just as nervous about the subject as they are. Emphasize that sex is not a bad thing it’s not a dirty word and that it is perfectly normal for everyone to have thoughts about it. Express the importance of protection and being safe from diseases. Be there for them not against them, children tend to rebel if they are always told not to do something. By that I don’t mean, go tell them to go out and have sex, wrong! Just let them know that when the time is right for them, when they are older to explore sex to do it because they feel ready, not because they are being pressured into it. Make sure that they understand that you are there for them no matter what and that they can always trust you with anything when it comes to talking about sex. Some kids don’t want to hear about it right at this moment. That’s okay just take baby steps with them, but always make sure that they know that you are more than ready to talk about sex with them. I guarantee when they are ready to talk about it they will come to you, instead of run away from you. I wish my mother and father had talked to me about sex when I was a teenager even before I became a teenager, would have been nice.

I felt so alone to the fact and got pressured into losing my virginity instead of making the choice for myself, I allowed another individual to make it for me. Once it’s gone, it’s over with. I felt dirty and wished that I had saved myself for the right person. I had no education about it and my mom’s way of talking about was just handing me a condom. I can’t really be mad at her for not talking to me about because she grew up in the era where nobody spoke about sex and it was taboo to do so. My father was really never there in my life and when I did see him, I was always afraid to ask him for fear that he would think I was a slut just by asking. Now that I have kids I am making sure that we have the talk. Not once but a couple of times, I want them to be able to not feel afraid or ashamed of the topic and when they get older, to be able to make the right choices for themselves. That’s all for today friends thanks for reading and before you go check out this video by: Jimmy Kimmel asking kids about boys & girls  it’s pretty funny the stuff kids come up with.

Sincerely,

The Sleepless Mommie

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