Was just in a weird state of mind this morning thinking about people from my past. How they affected me and they way the shaped me into the person I am today. Good and bad times a lot of my choices were based off immature actions. A lot had to do with me being so young. I see some of those “ex’s” people I run into periodically and it’s always awkward to say the least. Especially when most of my relationships ended on a bad note. Living in a small town you are bound to run into each other and I hate it. looking at each other not knowing what to say. Very strange situation lol I have managed the duck a weave technique. Every time I see someone that I do not want to see in public I hurry up and scramble to another aisle so that way I am not seen. I know very shallow of me, right? Well I just can not get caught up in awkward conversation again, it is just too much for me. Sometimes It is very rare but I get caught doing this “duck and weave act” and talk about embarrassing, most definitely so. This has happened to me twice and trying to play it off is so hilarious. Sometimes I think to myself that it would be awesome to be able to be an outsider and to watch someone do the the ” duck and weave act”. One of the two times I was caught my face turned red from trying to explain what exactly it was that I was doing. It’s kind of like a two word conversation and then turn around and walk away lol. Alot of people probably think i am nuts for doing it but I know I can not be the only one. A lot of my ex’s are not in my life for a reason and some are. The ones that are stay at a mutual distance which is fine with me. It’s not like I am a total b*tch I do try to be friendly, just not to everyone.
I hate gossip but some people that I know love it and being in this small town they love to spread it. I am always hearing about ex’s through gossip, I’d rather not hear it, so I always change the subject. These clucky hens just can not let it go and have to tell something. As irritating as it is I just walk away from the convo. I’m sure that a lot of people spread nasty rumors about me and really I could care less cause I know who I am. I really don’t seek the approval of others, when it comes to ex’s though people never say anything positive about them. Isn’t funny to think that at one point in time the person that talks so negative about the ex was so much in love with him/her and now they hate them. I have my fair share of negatives when it comes to ex’s but I’d rather focus on the positives because I believe in a little something called karma. Plus it’s in the past right? time to move on into the future. A lot of these small town clunky hens just love staying in the past and starting drama. Drives me nuts, so not only am I ducking and weaving ex’s, but not I am ducking and weaving gossiping hens.
I am not saying be best friends with an ex, but I would not want to be a gossip whore about it. Anyways drawing back into what my thoughts were about this morning. Sometimes I wonder what would I be doing now if I had stayed with a certain ex. Just thinking about would have things changed up for the better later on down the road. That’s when reality slapped me in the face and I tell myself to get out of that state of mind frame. I’ve been moving forward moving into the future. Sometimes it may not be the best situations but I make due. I’m just glad to have been taught a lot of life lessons that I know I will never repeat again. Some people always try to get back together with an ex, not me. To me if you didn’t work out back then, your chances of working out know is a big fat no. Unless this is the movie The Notebook which it isn’t and I highly doubt it would work out for your benefit. So with that being said, I don’t try to live my life by a movie although it would be nice 🙂
Whelp that’s all for me today see ya later.
The Sleepless Mommie