Single Parents Do It Just Like You
As a single mother I have worked hard for the past 16 years now to become a meaningful member of society. I have had many different types of employment, not because I was not good at the job or because I was fired. I have had so many different types of employment because I am the type of person who loves to learn new things. To me repetition is just not what I strive for, every employer I have ever worked for has always requested me to stay with the business. I chose not to stay because I always am out to look into doing new things my mind loves to learn and I absorb it with much need new information. As like many others in the good old united states of America I pay taxes. Yes single moms pay taxes too, contrary to belief we do. As a matter of the fact we do many things the same as married people do. Such as buy a home ( like I have), start a successful business and raise productive little members of society. Throughout my different places of employment I have met some really interesting people and some who I would have rather not of met. All in the same still glad I met these different types of people so glad they helped me in every way understand what I need to learn at the time. I am not saying I am Albert Einstein or Benjamin Franklin but I will say this I have always paid my own way and by that I mean with anything that society requires me to do. As well as any other single mother out there that pays their taxes does. My way might be different from others but it’s my way and I love it.
Some people out there seem think that all single mothers do absolutely nothing but sit around and collect social services benefits. Which makes me laugh hysterically, seriously to those who think that small-minded are moronic and need to educate themselves on the reality of this world. Not everybody is married and unfortunately not everyone is blessed with money. Most of out there are struggling and still find the time to smile. Some of these people who have made such statement as “single moms do not pay taxes” have themselves been on social services collecting food stamps or SNAP as they call it now. These people are very hateful and are the reason for why this country is at a downfall, not the president or government, but ignorant people who run their mouths about things that they don’t even know about. My thing is like this if you do not know a person and have never met them, do not talk about them. You do not live their lives you do not know what they do on a day-to-day basis. Like most people yes things would have had been a lot easier for me if I was married or had a second income. I like being called a single parent because you know what it means that you are a strong person that no matter what life has to throw at you, you managed to overcome and succeed. Sorry but I would not change a thing in my life, everything that has happened has happened for a reason. I love every single moment of it and you should know it’s the little things that count.
Also this goes for those single fathers out there doing it all by themselves as well. Yes there are single parent fathers out there lol. I have a lot of respect for them because they are taking up the slack of this vacant mother. They work and yes pay taxes too, go figure lol. Quite a few people have made comments and or statements about single fathers not really being single. What! really so what are they, Aliens from outer space come down here to earth to pretend to be struggling and pretend to be taking care of a bunch of children, Okie dokie. Get real! they are just as strong as single mothers and they do it all by themselves too. To me single moms and dads have more than just one job they have several. I grew up in a single father family and it was the best he raised us kids up right and instilled good work ethics and respect. We got to see our mother from time to time, we could have stayed with her but she had her own issues she had to deal with. Being a single father parent is nothing new, my father was taking care of us 26 years ago. I am pretty sure that fathers were single parenting way before 26 years ago as well. People are just very narrow-minded and find it hard to believe that a father or a mother could ever take care of “The Bills”, work, and take care of children all on their own. It’s sad really I would hate to be such a person who thought so idiotically. So my point being is, that we do work and we do pay our taxes it just so happens that we happen to be single. I would like to share a single father story that I was reading earlier on this morning.
Man of the House
by Shannon Cripe
No matter what anybody says, it’s not easy raising children. Whether you have one child or ten, it’s going to be tough. Add to this the fact that you are a single parent, and your life is now ten times harder. In today’s world it’s not at all uncommon to see single moms raising their children, but when you are a single father…
I have had custody of my daughter for six months. These have been some of the best months in my life, the tough times and all. But during this time I have seen and heard more sexist comments about single fathers than I ever thought possible.
To begin with, the social system is mostly setup to help the single mother. It seems that none of the workers expect to deal with a single father. Here are some of the other situations I have come up against these past six months:
I received a letter from the county attorney’s office one day. They said they would help me get child support from the father. At first I didn’t think anything of it until I began reading the forms they wanted me to fill out. All the information they put on the form about me was in the mother’s section. The remaining section asked about a hundred questions about the father. I later called and was told to scratch out where it asked about the father and put mother.
On another occasion, I took my daughter to the doctor her mother had chosen for her. After sitting there for over an hour the doctor came in and asked who I was. After telling him everything that had happened and that I had custody; he turned to me, looked me in the eyes, and said, “You can’t do this!” When asked what he was talking about he replied “You’re male! You can’t raise a child by yourself. She has to have her mother, not you.” I looked him in the eye and told him that my daughter did not need a sexist fool as her doctor, and that we would never darken his office door again.
I was later given WIC aid (women, infants, and children) to help buy my daughter’s formula. Things were going well until I went to a local grocery store to pick up some. I got to the checkout line, and when I handed the male cashier my WIC card he asked me where I got the card. He stated that such cards are not issued to men and said, “I know this isn’t yours.” My first reaction was to yank him across the counter, but I didn’t. Biting my tongue and reaching for my WIC ID, I was saved further argument by the manager stepping forward and checking me out rapidly. I could give you more examples of the discrimination that I have had to put up with, but it would take pages to do so.
I’m sure the majority of men are not prepared to handle raising a child on their own, and do not want to be. But there are also many of us who have the ability and desire to do so, especially when it means that our own offspring is loved and nourished by a parent rather than being abandoned to other people.
Women have fought for equal rights in the workplace, which they greatly deserve. Now what do we, as single fathers, have to do to receive equal rights as a parent? Are we going to have to fight for years to get beyond this? I agree that all children need a mother and father; unfortunately this is not always possible. I also believe that a single father can do just as good of a job raising his children as a single mother can. My daughter will be seven months old this month and is a beautiful healthy little angel. So to everyone who says a single father cannot raise a baby–I’ll see you in eighteen years at graduation!
Shannon Cripe firstname.lastname@example.org
So for those who love to run their mouths about people who they don’t even know in the first place, need to take a step back and think before they speak. Raising children in a full connected family is hard enough. Imagine having to be a single parent and doing it all by yourself so please give us a break already, we are doing our best! I also would love to add that single parenting has no age either. So many think just because you are a single parent it is because you were a teenager sowing wild oats. That is a big no, Becoming a single parent happens at any age. This next story I would like to share proves just my point that single parenting knows no age here is her story.
My story may be a bit different from other single parents in that I knew from the beginning that I would be doing this alone. By the time I hit my mid-30’s and had not found the person that I wanted to marry and share my life with. I had always wanted to be a mom, however, and knew that biological clock was ticking away. So I made the choice to become a single parent by adoption. I still hope to find my soul-mate at some point, but in the mean time I am loving being a mother of a beautiful little girl.
I grew up surrounded by babies and small children. However, being a parent was a huge adjustment for me and much harder than I ever thought it would be. I often say that I was a much better parent before I had children! I find myself saying and doing things that I never thought I would say or do.
My first parenting challenge was traveling to a third world country alone, and–after two days on many airplanes–being handed a baby only a couple of hours after arriving at my destination. Two weeks later, we were home in the US and started our lives together as a family.
Another huge challenge for me was adjusting my lifestyle. After years of being on my own and doing what I wanted, when I wanted, I was now responsible for another little person who was dependent upon me for her every need, 24 hours a day. In addition to that, she also didn’t like to sleep, and I needed more sleep than ever.
I found that my friends, who were very excited throughout my journey, didn’t come around as much after my daughter came home, and I didn’t have the time or energy to go out with them anymore. My priorities shifted. After working all day, I wanted and needed to spend time with my child. Now, being in my 40s with a preschooler, I find myself forming friendships with others who have young children, and most of these women are younger than I am. People my own age have children who are either getting ready to leave the nest or are already out on their own.
I love being a mom and if I have to be a single mom til I die so be it, I love it and would not change a thing in my life. My kids are my life, My air, My heart. They have made me into a better person and everyday I can count on them to brighten me up or make me laugh. That’s all for today until next time friends. Live, Learn, Love stop the hate. Thanks for reading 🙂
The Sleepless Mommie